Hey you guys on the internet: It's your newborn blogging phenomenon - Sheena!
If you haven't already heard of me ... What are you even doing in the huge world of internet memes?
No, I'm not a meme already - but probably (with a little bit of black frosting and sugar sprinkles of darkness) I'll become one once and fulfill my ideal circle of life! ^^
But instead of telling you my prospects of life I should start with the story of my HUUUGEE struggle about the whole blogging and social media subject -
I always questioned myself about the possibility, that human beings afflicted by social anxiety - like me - who can't cope with daily socializing (at school - that decade is over now, finally - , in the supermarket, in the elevator ........ never mention this scenario: there's me pressed against the wall, because I try to avoid communication - The views are incredible: every single time ^^ ) could lose all their fears and complexes when socializing online ..
"This is just incredible", I thought and tried to post a comment under a picture of someone I'd like to contact on Instagram (It has been a dog's profile, so I thought it wouldn't be that scary for me to communicate, because I've always had my most profound friendships with animals ♡ ).
After twenty minutes of reflecting the sentence "Your dog is the cutest" I finally gave up all my good intentions of writing my "REAL" and "UNCUT" opinion and thoughts below a picture that doesn't belong to me. Instead I just posted this emoji: ❤
By doing this I avoided everything that could be reprehensible ... and this is probably my most intense struggle when it comes to communicating (either in real life or online): I'm absolutely concerned about everything, that could cause a misunderstanding.
Because I'm not really able to clear it up again - INTROVERSION FOR THE WIN ^^
"Now", I thought, "I'm finally happy with my comment and can therfore post it immediately", but none of this happened: As weird as I am, I thought about the heart emoji for another seven minutes and suddenly one thing came into my mind: Couldn't this sign be interpreted as the LOVE sign -
holy shit I'm definitely not keen on looking like a crazy stalking and obsessed follower, posting hearts below a picture.
I only and intentionally wanted to express my endless love for dogs (especially for this adorable Bullterrier on the picture ..)
And this was exactly the moment I knew: I'm lost AND I'm fucked up!
So the full odyssey had to come to a special end: I neither posted a comment out of words nor this little emoji heart ...
As soon as I thought about my struggle not just with people in REAL LIFE but also with the virtual social situation I realized that I had to do something against it instead of humorizing my special behavior. (which is one one hand pretty amusing but on the other one: in fact a problem, because I'm constantly running away from my own fears by using sarcasm and cynicism ^^)
It's true that I'll never be able to talk to the youth of my age but:
It's important for me to lose my fear of talking about my thoughts to a greater group of people who don't belong to my family.
I believe that it could be some kind of therapy for me (and probably the only therapy that really helps me forgetting all those insecurities and the fear of causing misunderstandings)
And that's exactly the reason I decided to start this blog and open a YouTube account !
Long Live The Weirdos!
May the forces of Introversion break conformity forever ...
(I did it again ... )
STAY WEIRD, UNIQUE & OBSCURE
THOUSANDS OF VIRTUAL BLACK HEARTS,